Leading Through Pain and Loss - Thor: The Dark World

Great leaders learn to grieve. 

Pain is coming. Especially if you’re in any kind of leadership position. There simply is no avoiding it.

Maybe it’s personal. A relationship with a child is strained. A diagnosis that produces hardship. A close friend moves away. A parent passes.  

It could be organizational. The business is struggling. The critical team member leaves suddenly. The online review is not what you expected. 

All the “what could have been’s” and “I had hoped” feelings and thoughts often feel like a wrecking ball. Unchecked, that pain will leak out into your relationships and work life. 

Pain never stays put. 

If you’ve ever had a dripping faucet, the leak will not stop until the source of the problem is dealt with. Drip. Drip here. Drip there. It may not come all at once. But it’s dripping no less. When we don’t grieve as God intended, pain builds up in our hearts. Most of the time it’s a slow, dripping leak. Not good. Even worse, though, is the inevitable explosion—like a volcanic eruption.

Take Thor for example. 

When his mother, Frigga, is killed during a surprise attack on Asgard, something inside him breaks. She dies protecting Jane Foster and the moment shatters the royal family. The moment devastates Thor. But unlike his brother Loki, Thor grieves with dignity and resolve. 

During his mother’s funeral, Thor does not speak, but his grief is palpable. He mourns deeply, but he doesn't let grief paralyze him. Thor shows that true strength includes emotional vulnerability. He doesn’t numb his pain or run from it.

This is a powerful lesson for us all—especially leaders.

As of the time of me writing this, my father has been gone for 20 years. He died of a heart attack at the age of 51 and I’m thankful to write that I still grieve his loss. It’s not everyday. It’s not crippling like it once was. But it’s there. And it’s that grief I still experience from time to time that reminds me I had a father worth missing. I miss him because he was a wonderful father. And that’s worth grieving. Love existed. It still does. 

Some of the most profound moments of leadership in Scripture are born out of grief.

Consider Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus. Even knowing He would raise Lazarus from the dead, He still wept (John 11:35). The Son of God—filled with divine power and unshakable mission—paused long enough to cry.

Why?

Because love doesn’t ignore loss.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

Grief is holy ground. And good leaders don’t rush through it. They also don’t ignore it. But they do allow themselves permission to experience grief, inviting God to be close during their brokenhearted seasons.

God will shape you in these moments. He adds depth and faith and a richness to your relationship with him that can only come through trusting him in the midst of pain. 

Great leaders learn to grieve.